Victoria - my oldest is TWELVE!



I love to see joy on my kid's faces. Allan stuck three number
one candles on her cake. Well at least their candles.

I can't believe my girl turned TWELVE on Monday. She is an amazing person, who is growing up to be kind and loving and sensitive toward others and I love being her mom! Since I haven't been able to shop for her with my recent surgery I sent Allan on a busy holiday Sunday out to our local towne center. He was armed with a list of items to buy, took Benjamin along and managed through a busy shopping day to get everything on the list. Well done dad! On her birthday, he took her to pick out a dessert for her birthday which was an ice cream cake. Here are some photos which show who she is and how we celebrated with just our family and my folks.



Victoria often has her face buried in a
book or a magazine.



 

Victoria helped at her brother's birthday party.

 

Victoria and her friend Audrey dressed up themselves and Elizabeth
to have an outdoor tea party. This was Elizabeth's first tea party
and she was so happy to be included with the big girls. They
taught her how to how the tea cup with their pinkies out.

 

 

Victoria loves to swim and race because she is competitive.

Victoria dressed up as an 80's teenager for
this Halloween. She was diggin the
pink hair and big earrings.

 

 

They actually all sat next to each other before Victoria
opened her presents.

Allan always buys the girls flowers for their birthday!

I love how they are all listening to Victoria while
she read her birthday cards! Maybe they were
looking to see how much the check was for
from Grandpa and Grandma.

Victoria was thrilled to get these black ruffled
curtains/panels for her bedroom. She also got a
black shag rug that she was longing for.

This is an eiffel tower jewelry holder
that Victoria was excited to get as you can see
on her face. Her room is painted turquoise and she
has a Paris theme with black & white accents.

Finally, she received warm fuzzy slippers
and a soft robe.
 

 

Give

Give - to present voluntarily and without expecting compensation; bestow.

Synonyms for Give:  offer, vouchsafe, impart, accord, furnish, provide, supply, donate, contribute. Give, confer, grant, present may mean that something concrete or abstract is bestowed on one person by another. Give is the general word: to give someone a book, permission, etc. Confer usually means to give an honor or a favor; it implies courteous and gracious giving:

Deuteronomy 16:17Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you.

I've been thinking a lot about giving, what it means to give, how much, to whom or what to give and why should we give. I think we are so used to receiving and expecting something from others. What am I going to get for doing __________? Our society as a whole is selfish and when we give we expect something in return. We make up excuses why we can't give or help.

I want to teach my kids why they should give, how they can give and to whom or what they can give. They can only learn this by watching others demonstrating it and by being involved themselves. There are so many ways we can give of our time, our money, or our resources/talents/skills. A few months ago I mentioned to a friend that I wanted to start teaching my kids how to live missionally. I chose the day Monday and thought I'd call it "Missional Monday" even if we ended up doing our mission work on another day of the week. This was an idea that I hadn't put forth until my friend said she'd like to join me. Now I had to be accountable. We were able to accomplish two weeks together before she moved. With our eight kids in total the first week we made cards for some people in our church who were recovering from surgery or an illness. We had the younger kids draw pictures and we wrote Get Well and addressed the envelopes. The second week we ventured out of our homes to a local park, put gloves on all the kids hands, and picked up trash throughout the park. When my friend moved, I offered to watch her kids while she and her husband packed up their house for a few hours. That is another way of giving. My family  participated in Operation Christmas Child where you buy items for a child that is placed in a shoebox and sent to a different country. When the child receives the box they not only receive the goodies inside (toys, school supplies, basic toiletries, etc), but they hear about Jesus, who loves them and wants a relationship with them. Victoria chose for us to give to a 10-14 year old boy because she felt that girls may receive more boxes and she wanted to be sure an older boy received something.

Ways that others have given to me - I have been so blessed the last two weeks following my surgery with an abundant amount of help from family and friends. I have meals scheduled for three weeks every other day. This takes time and money, but it is such a blessing to a family who needs it. I have brought meals to families for many years even to people I have never meant until I dropped off their meal. Giving can involve a simple text, email or phone call to check on how a person is doing after a surgery or a new baby. I am amazed at how many people have checked on me to see how I was doing and my spirits are lifted after talking to them. My mom, brother, sister in law and friends have taken the kids off of our hands to drive them to an event and entertained them so I could get some rest and Allan could do some housework. I have been unable to drive, so my mom has helped Allan by taking Ben to school or picking him up from school. My friends have picked up medicine or food for me. I am fortunate to have a friend who is a nurse to help answer my medical questions. All of these people have shown love toward me and my family by giving of their time, money or talents.  

James 2:15-16
If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?
Deuteronomy 15:10Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.


I made a list below of ways my family could give or help others. I'll be honest it isn't always comfortable or easy to give. I know for me it is difficult to ask others for help, so don't always wait for someone to ask if they need help. I am still learning how to live missionally and to give more of myself. I certainly have not arrived by any means. I write this post in hopes to encourage others and to spur my own self on to giving more. If you ever want to join me in a Missionally Monday, Tuesday, etc please let me know. I need the accountability. I am privileged to have many people that I have witnessed live a missional life, a life that gives to others. I have seen lives that others have touched and helped change.

Here are some of my ideas on giving or helping others in our community:

Delivery a surprise meal or food to someone (muffins, cookies, breakfast, lunch, dinner)

 Delivery groceries (staples) for family in need

Drop off a sick basket (crackers, electrolyte pops, Gatorade, ginger ale, chicken soup/broth)

Bring in a neighbor’s trash cans, newspaper, etc

Weed a neighbor or friend’s garden (could add flowers too)

Make Cards for someone sick, elderly neighbor or home, etc

Offer to watch someone’s children (even if not close friends)

Offer to watch or walk someone’s dog or other animal

Have older child read to another younger child(ren)

Donate Blood

Get Haircut & Donate (Locks of Love)

Give $ to homeless person or give bag of useful items (food, blanket, water, etc)

Help Neighbor (water, garden, bring in trash, put up a shelf, household chore, etc)

Make Birthday Charitable (donate to a charity – for older children 10+)

Invite a family to lunch or dinner or dessert (someone new, neighbor you don't know)

Help someone move (watch their kids, help them pack boxes, buy them boxes, markers, tape)

Prayer Walk (walk around your neighborhood or child's school and pray for people)

Teach someone a skill (organization, art lesson, knitting, how to read, write, etc)

Visit fire or police station & have kids make a thank you card for their service to community (could make food too)

Help at LB Rescue Mission– food sorting (kids 5+), serving food, etc.

Participate in Canned Food Drive (have kids help) - Project Shepherd, etc

Participate in a walk/run for a charity

Pick up garbage in our neighborhood, park, or beach (trashbags, gloves, & rules)

Work at soup kitchen/mission serving food or cleaning up

Help someone with a home repair

Play a game with elderly person (cards, board game, bingo, etc)

Give money to organization, Tithe weekly at your own church (have kids save money)

Write a letter to a community leader thanking them & encouraging them in their decision making

Surprise someone with a plant or flower & note on their porch

Donate clothes, toys etc to schools, church, or other organizations/people in need

Donate things to local schools (box tops, school uniforms, school supplies, etc)

 

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him wouldn’t perish, but would have eternal life.

 

 

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

Wow! I can't believe my oldest will be twelve in two weeks. I am truly a proud mama because of what a wonderful young women she is becoming. She inspires me each and every day with her perservance and how she challenges herself to try and do new things. We are alike in many ways, so I can relate with her when she is frustrated and I understand why she does certain things. She surprises me with how she challenges herself to try things that I would think would be unachievable based her personality.

About nine months ago, Victoria did a presentation in her Foundations class on being a vegeterian. Shortly after, she decided to try out a vegeterian diet. I think she lasted a little over a week and then stopped. But then, she decided she was going to give it her all and completely eat a vegeterian diet. There was no end date and honestly we weren't sure of the exact reason. I know that she has never cared for most meats. She has always been a really good eater by eating her fruits and vegetables and monitoring not just what she eats, but how much. One reason she decided to be a vegeterian was to prove to others, especially her dad, that she could do it. Friends and family question her, which is fine, but upsetting to her at times. She also has always been squeamish of many things including the killing of animals and seeing raw meat. I am proud of her for trying something that may be different from her friends and family and for sticking with it. Her health has been great and she has even gained weight this year.

Every year our church goes on a mission trip to Mexico to help families with their medical and dental needs, to fix cars, to do construction, to put on a carnival and to share the Gospel. If any of you know Victoria, you would know that she worries about many things. She has a fear of germs, so she steers clear of sick people. She does not like to use public bathrooms. She honestly doesn't like the outdoors because of dirt & dust. She really doesn't like being out of her comfort zone with people. I had heard about the Border Run mission trip to Mexico and casually mentioned it to her. She wasn't interested in it. Then one Sunday, she came home from church after the staff had promoted it in the Jr. High group. Victoria and the other Jr. Highers were allowed to go with the Jr. High staff where anyone younger has to have a parent accompany them. I was blown away when she told Allan and I that she wanted to go. She did not know if any of her friends were going or not. She decided on her own that she wanted to go. She was hesitant to ask us because the cost to go is $110. Allan and I talked about it and knew that even though money was really tight that we had to say yes because she was willing to trust God and do something that would be completely out of her comfort zone. It wasn't us wanting it for her but her willingness to go and be a disciple.

On the day before her trip to Mexico, she was so nervous and she wanted to back out. She was going to a foreign country without her parents. She was going on her first mission trip. She didn't speak the language. I was not nervous because she was traveling with many experienced Christians who had traveled to this location before. They had a plan. Her small group leader and many of her friends ended up going as well. When I picked her up after the trip, she gave me a big hug and said, "It was so much fun!" As we drove home, I asked her, "Would you go again?" She answered, "No, well, maybe, because Audrey will probably talk me into it." I laughed as she shared her experiences. First, I had spoken to several adults that she was a vegeterian, so if they could assist her if meat was primarily served. Thankfully, all the meals had something she could easily eat. She shared about the bathroom experience of having to use an outhouse. We laughed together as she explained that she was paired up with a little girl to play with and that little girl threw up after going on the merry go round. She told me about how fun it was working a carnival booth for the kids. I think she really learned that even though she has many fears and anxieties about life that she can manage those things and learn to overcome them with God's help. God will work through her and it isn't about how hard she tries, but how much she relies on the Lord for help. I am so proud of her for her willingness to be used by God.

My little girl is certainly growing up and I am enjoying watching her learn, grow and sometimes stumbling but then getting right back up.

Rebuilding




Benefield Bunch Fall 2009
 

This picture is of our family the Benefield Bunch while I was pregnant with our last child, Elizabeth. We knew Elizabeth would be our last child. Many people after having their first, second, or third child and so on wonder if they will have any more children. The question we often ask others after they've had a child is, "Are you going to have any more?" I know for me when I couldn't answer that question then that meant I could see more children in our future. But how do you KNOW you are DONE? Well, when I was pregnant with Lizzie we were so sure that our family would soon be complete with our 4th child that Allan had a vasectomy before she was even born. We had no doubts at all.

This past Friday, I had to have a hysterectomy for medical reasons and having nothing to do with family planning. But with this surgery I realized that now I will never be able to have another child.
I honestly am okay with that because God has already given me peace about the size of our family and I know that our family is complete. I still feel that sadness though that I will never be pregnant again and craddling my own new child in my arms. But God has other plans, doesn't he.......

At a recent progressive dinner for my homeschooling group, our director had us pick a card out of a basket with a verse on it. This was my verse:

Therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn you. Again I will build you, and you shall be rebuilt. -Jeremiah 31:3-4.

At first, I wasn't sure how this verse was meant for me. Then with another mom's help she said, well literally you are being rebuilt with your upcoming surgery. With much anxiety with my surgery, this verse brought me peace and understanding. Until you've gone through something yourself you are able to have sympathy but not able to have emphathy for a person going through a similar situation. I think my reason for writing this blog is to say that God is reshaping me and molding me into a different person. It won't be an overnight transition but God knows that I need to slow down, be still, and listen to Him. With four children to tend to, it is difficult and some days impossible to slow down and to listen to what God is calling me to do. He wants me to be slower in how I react to my children and to observe more so I can really understand things with more clarity. God is doing this with love and kindness. He is helping me to see that we are all different. We don't all see things the same way or respond to things in the same manner. He created us uniquely and I am so grateful for that.  Honestly, this recovery time following my surgery is allowing me to look at how I do things, how I treat others, and how others see me.

How is God building or rebuilding you? Are you paying attention? Are you listening? Are you slowing down to hear Him?

Summer 2012



Well..... I've taken a few months off from blogging not that I didn't have anything to write about. My daughter wanted to read my blog today and was disappointed that I hadn't written anything since May. I thought I'd do a recap of our summer.

June - Ben finished transitional kindergarten, Nicholas completed 3rd grade, and Victoria graduated from 5th grade and moved on to junior high (middle school). Victoria and Nicholas had a great camp experience at Forest Home Adventure Mountain at the end of June. Thankfully, they didn't encounter any of the local bears. Our most exciting news in June was that we added a new family member. She is cute, white, and furry. The kids have been BEGGING for a dog for a couple of years now and when we met Magenta we decided that she would fit in just fine with our family. Honestly, Allan and I were really hesitant on getting a dog. Let's face it, we already have four kids. We were thankful that she was house broken and plays really well with the kids. Although, we have to remind them to do their dog chores (feeding, walking, bathing, and cleaning up after) they do take care of her and love her. Magenta also puts up with us or should I say Lizzie and Benjamin. Those little ones like chasing her, wrapping her in blankets and putting her in the laundry hamper. Luckily, we have a small home, so I quickly figure out what those little ones are up to.

Magenta was trying to get used to her new home.

Benjamin is always climbing on someone or something..



Victoria and friends were the first to enjoy the pool at camp.



At our church, they had a morning of celebrating the 5th graders
moving up to the jr. high group. Victoria is here with some
of her friends and Sunday school teachers.



We had lots of lazy days and nights just playing games
and watching movies with the kids.
 



July-We had a really fun 4th of July with a group of friends and some family. We took our 1978 RV to Lake Skinner and "roughed" it in the great outdoors. When we camped at Lake Skinner we went with a big group of friends from our church life group class. It was great sharing meals, toys, and conversations with our friends. The kids enjoyed a week of golf lessons at Lakewood Country Club. This was their third time learning how to drive, put, and chip a golf ball. I also had all the kids take swim lessons for 2 weeks. This was Elizabeth's first time taking a formal lesson. She cried the 2nd day and I let her stay out. On the third day, I put her in the water crying, walked away and she was fine afterthat.

Lizzie playing with homemade slime made by Nicholas.

The kids chowing down on breakfast at camp.

August-We had several beach days with different groups of friends. I love to watch my kids dig in the sand, build sandcastles, ,and swim in the water. I've learned that although the kids need sunscreen I need to keep reapplying suncreen for myself because of my fair complexion. We visited the local library almost every Tuesday after Victoria and Nicholas' piano lesson throughout the summer. We take home about 30-50 books every week. I finally broke down and purchased a small kiddie pool for the little ones(and the big ones) and a slip and slide. The grass and plants have appreciated the extra water.

 

It was a fun and relaxing summer, but I was anxious to start school with Victoria and Nicholas and to send Ben off to school. I'm glad to have more structure  and a set schedule on a daily basis. I hope you enjoyed your summer!

 

 

Lizzie and her cousin Dean, who she LOVES to spend time with.
"Play with me, Swim with me, Sit next to me........."

A beautiful sunset I shot one evening. I just want to lay on
the grass and stare up at the sky with no interruptions.

 

 



I love this picture because you can't tell if they love each other
or if they are trying to harm each other. We were on the outside of
the California Science Center. We love that place!

A Hiking We Will Go

I just realized that I haven't blogged for a month as I watched Victoria reading the last post I did on our trip to Utah. I've been trying not to get distracted from our daily homeschool routine. I think we only had two days in May with nothing on our calendar. We took a hike at the beginning of May to San Pedro bluffs which the kids thoroughly enjoyed. We walked down the steep trail to see an awesome assortment of sea creatures (sea cucumber, starfish, sea anemones, and more). It was a great hike for the kids and us adults. Allan and Nicholas went on the hike again on the 20th with their cub scout pack. I wish I took a picture of the steep steps we walked up another portion of the trail. Lizzie had to use her knees to crawl up the steps, then I would lift her from step to step and eventually Allan carried her. Benjamin hiked up and down the bluff as well as the rest of the switchback trail. He is such a great hiker at age five. We will definitely have to go back there again! (Below past the pictures are the directions to the trail)


The boys led the way to the tide pools.




We crossed on a plank of wood and there was a
good fall depending on which way you fell.




Lizzie & I carefully going down the steep and slippery hill.




"Look mom and dad! I found a starfish"




The kids had a blast jumping from rock to rock.





Lizzie needed to take a rest in the shelter
which included a bbq.

 


This is the beautiful view we had while hiking.

Switchback Trail from Warmouth in San Pedro.  From the end of the I-110 freeway, take a right on N. Gaffey St. and then a quick left on Summerland Ave.  Go a mile and turn left on Western Ave.  Go 2.5 miles to the end of Western Ave. and head right on Paseo Del Mar.  Go 0.5 miles, turn left on Stargazer.  Follow Stargazer to its end and head right on Warmouth.  Park on the end of Warmouth and look for an open gate leading from the south side of the street.

Check out the website for more info:
http://nobodyhikesinla.com/tag/switchback-trail/


Utah Trip continued part 3

Day 5 - Tuesday

We spent another day at the hotel which the kids loved. We played games, watched TV, and I took a walk with Victoria to the local park.

It's snowing!!!!! So much fun!!!!!!

Allan helped Lizzie and Benjamin color & work on puzzles.

Elizabeth reading the Bible from the lodge.

Day 6 - Wednesday

Since we brought all of our snow boots, coats, and gloves we needed to get some use out of them. There wasn't much snow left in Park City, so we drove about 5 miles up the mountain. We found a closed ski resort and we asked an adjacent art gallery if it was okay if we played in the snow there. It was quite an adventure getting all of our gear on (snow pants, boots, gloves, hats and jackets). We were able to borrow four sleds from the lodge we stayed at and my brother loaned us three snow ball makers. This was Elizabeth's first time in the snow. She loved helping her big brother build a snow fort and making snow balls. Victoria and Nicholas got tired of sledding and decided to build their own forts. They tried recruiting the other family members to their side. Benjamin loved sledding! I think Allan and I sledded the most because it was tough for the kids to climb back up the hill. We saw about 6 dogs taking a walk with their owner with no leash. Wow! Imagine all that space to just roam! Our favorite part of our snow day was our snowball fight. We had a few casualities with hard snow hitting a few faces, but thankfully we didn't need to make any hospital visits. To get down the hill, we rode down on the sleds. Lizzie hadn't braved the sleds yet. At the end of our sled run, she exclaimed, "Let's do it again mommy!" But it was time to go back to the lodge, get warm, and drink some hot cocoa.

Allan thought it was quite funny that my foot got
stuck in a deep hole in the snow.

Nicholas and Lizzie working on their snowfort and snowballs
for our snowball fight.

Day 7 - Thursday

No more sitting around the lodge, it was time to visit the sites around Salt Lake City. We bought a two day connect pass that we could use at up to 13 locations/attractions. Our first stop was The Lion House Pantry Restaurant which is the historic home of Brigham Young and is located in Temple Square. We walked 3/4 mile to The Lenardo, a really cook sci+tech+art museum as well.

These are some of the beautiful flowers at Temple Square.

Nicholas trying to write his name using a mirror at the Leonardo.

Victoria & Benjamin getting creative with paper.

Trying out how it feels to walk with prosthetics.

Does this picture look like me? Ha! Art is not my best subject

Nicholas trying to walk down stairs. He
feels like he is walking on stilts.

Day 8 - Friday

Needing to get the most out of our passes, we started early at the Discovery Gateway which is an interactive discovery center for younger children (8 and under). Across the street, we headed to the food court for our lunch. After we devoured chinese and pizza we headed for the Clark Planetarium. We could have watched a film in the dome or IMAX theaters but opted out since we figured the littles would get bored viewing those films. Instead, we moonwalked through the space exhibits touching moon rocks and exploring other planets. Oh no! Our day was not over yet. Another recommended activity was Thanksgiving Point which we were able to visit their Museum of Ancient Life and their 55 acre gardens during their tulip festival. The museum has an amazing discovery room with hands on science. After leaving the discovery room, you begin your adventure back in time for a super-sized, hands-on prehistoric experinece. The museum is one of the world's largest dinosaur museums. All of the kids enjoyed the sand table and dusting sand off the dinosaur fossils. We probably should have gone home, but we wanted to visit the gardens down the road from the museum. We walked and walked and walked through thousands and thousands of tulips. The garden was very impressive! We didn't even make it to the children's garden. Oops! Sorry kids!

Victoria and Nicholas building together.

One picture of Lizzie that she is actually
willing to look at the camera and smile

We are about to enter one of the largest dinosaur
museums in the world.

The kids loved digging for fossils at the dinosaur museum.

This gives you a glimpse of the acres of gardens we walked
through. There were waterfalls, fountains, and large statues.

Nicholas and Lizzie resting by the rows of tulips.

Day 9 - Saturday

Let's hit the road Jack! We were back on the road heading for Las Vegas. The blazing sun lit the sky which was a vast difference compared to the foggy, snowy trip we ventured into entering into Utah. Las Vegas greeted us with high temperatures in the 90s. All the kids were told no electronics, so they played games, played ball in the house, and ran around with nerf guns. It was fun to see all of them playing together ranging from age 3 to age 14.

Ben, Nick, and cousin Diana playing go fish.

Day 10 - Sunday

Benjamin begged to stay and live with his cousins for a little longer. It was time to go home to our sunny state of California. I couldn't wait to sleep in my own bed because it is so comfortable. Of course we hit traffic, but the kids for the most part behaved well. As we drove up to our little house, I asked Lizzie, "Where are we?" and she said, "home sweet home."

I rubbed my rubby slippers together and six hours later we were home
because "There's No Place Like Home"!